No one who hopes in you will ever be put to shame, but shame will come to those who are treacherous without cause. – Psalm 25:3
You may or may not see this WMD. I think I’m writing it more for a chronicle for myself than as a help to others. Recently, something strange happened, and I mean all in the same day. First, I was greatly offended by a non-believer who I feel lied to me. I’ve been good to them for years, but for whatever reason, I was ready to give up. Later, I saw someone who I thought was my sibling in Christ for years. This person totally blindsided and betrayed me. I haven’t been able to stand them since. In fact, when I simply walked by them on that particular day, I felt a darkness I haven’t felt in a long time. Looking back, I can only describe it as a demon taking its claws and sinking them into my brain, keeping it dark, and keeping the negativity flowing. I knew what was happening, yet I hardly even fought it.
When I got home, I wanted to do something aggressive. I went for a run. I usually run listening to the Bible or a sermon. I wasn’t feeling like that at all. So, I listened to a book I started a few weeks ago called Shogun. It is about a shipwreck in Japan. In the chapter I was listening to, they were talking about the Samurai. The thing that stuck in my head was the words, “those barbarians will kill you simply to test the sharpness of their blade.” As I listened to it, darkness and rage just kept rising. After about 2 miles, I was pretty tired. I started walking. I started realizing that I really needed this darkness out of my head. I started thinking about the things I needed to do to make things right with the people I was angry with.
I slowly walked to the church near my house. When I got there, I just fell on the steps like it was an altar. I just laid everything down that I could. I sat up straight. I prayed, “Lord, what do I do with all this offense? I will do whatever I need to do and fix whatever I need to fix!” The answer in my Spirit was simply this: “the first person who offended you is an unbeliever who doesn’t know me . . . always be merciful to them. The second person has a religious spirit and would kill you, simply to test the sharpness of their blade . . . make no moves around them. Forgive and move forward.”
Instantly, I felt relief. I felt the perfect peace that surpasses all understanding. Just moments before, I was so angry and bitter. How great, wonderful, mighty, compassionate, and ever ready to give His children peace is our God? How does He manage to use everything, and I mean everything for our good? He is amazing! We really need to reserve that word for Him and only Him.
Lord, I want to make every effort to live at peace with all people. I have been so hurt by people. Yet, at the same time, I know that I’ve hurt people. I guess there is no healing without hurt. Thank You for allowing me to feel Your healing power flow through my heart and mind. Every hour I need You. My one defense, my righteousness . . . Oh God how I need You! Amen!