Wednesday Morning Devotional

Spiritual Growth and Development

Until Christ is formed in you – Galatians 4:19

It is amazing how you can pray for years for something, and then all of a sudden, God reveals that you’ve been praying inaccurately.  One such prayer has been for the people I preach for, regardless of where I’m preaching.  I adapted a prayer from a Shawn MacDonald song called “Open Me.”  The prayer is simple; “Open up our eyes so we can see, our ears so we can hear, our minds so we can know and understand, and our hearts that we may fall in love with You.”

I say this prayer because I know that if a Christian has spiritual eyes, ears, minds, and hearts, they are disciples.  They are followers of Christ no longer in need of the “middle-man” of what we call church today.  I’m not saying church is unnecessary, but I am saying the Bible and prayer should be your primary source of spiritual nourishment, not church and preachers.  Therefore, I pray for these things.  Unfortunately, I recently realized I’ve been asking for spiritual eyes, ears, minds and hearts to be opened when they don’t even exist.  Let me explain.

Paul compares the growth of Christ in you spiritually to that of a physical child being formed in the womb.  If a child can stay cut off from the world for a bare minimum of 22 weeks (the survival record is 21 weeks, 5 days of gestation), remain attached to his or her mother in the womb, he or she will enter this world with a shot at survival.

In America, we have preached that saying a prayer produces a “born again” experience.  At best, asking Christ into your heart and life is the beginning of spiritual gestation.  The question is: will the seed planted inside of you develop enough to survive out in the world?

I remember being saved and thinking I had to immediately live this stuff out.  I was constantly failing and wondered if living the Christian life was even possible.  I said “the prayer” so many times hoping one would “take” and I would actually change.   I constantly wondered where my breakdown was occurring.

Once again, for years I had been saying the wrong prayer.  I had been praying that God would wave His magic wand, sprinkle some Holy Spirit dust on me, and I would change.  What I needed was to develop in the first place.  Christ needed to be formed in me.  Five years after initially asking Christ to come into my life, I finally began to read the Bible for myself.  I didn’t focus on changing my outward behavior; I just cut myself off from the world, and latched onto Him.  Fifteen months later I don’t know how He did it, I don’t even know when He did it, but I was brand new.  I looked at the world completely differently . . . I had spiritual eyes.  The words of God were so sweet . . . I had spiritual ears.  I understood things from the Bible and knew exactly what I needed to do . . . I had a spiritual mind.  Most of all, and most importantly, I had a heart that wanted to serve Him, and wanted to dig into His Word . . . I loved Him.  He was no longer a have to, but a get to.

Do you have spiritual eyes, ears, minds, and hearts?  Do you see Him in the simplest of things?  If your heart is pure, you will (Matthew 5:8).  Does He speak to you?  And I mean say something other than, “I want you to be happy, so go ahead and sin.”  Do you know Him?  I don’t mean know about Him, I mean do you know Him?  Do you love Him?  I mean more than anything else or anyone else on this planet, do you love Him?

I didn’t know it was even possible until I spent 15 months with Him and His Word.  I didn’t know it then, but I know now that was where my vital spiritual organs developed.  I wasn’t ready those first five years to enter the world and live for Him because I was a preemie.  The only thing I needed to do was the one thing I wasn’t doing, connecting myself to my life giving, life-producing Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

Later

Adam

When they had finished eating, Jesus asked Simon Peter, “Simon son of John, do you love me more than these?” “Yes, Lord,” he said, “You know that I love you.”  Jesus said, “Feed my lambs.”  — John 21:15

At this point in time, Peter felt he was unworthy to serve the risen Lord.  Within a very short period of time, he had gone from boasting about his loyalty and love for Jesus (Matthew 26:33), to following Him at a distance (Matthew 26:58), to denying Him (Matthew 26:72).  Therefore, when Jesus is resurrected from the dead, Peter feels like he can’t serve Jesus.  Jesus restores Peter and gets him back in the game.

It is so easy to feel like something you’ve done disqualifies you from service.  On the surface, I haven’t exactly lived what most church people would consider the perfect week.  I have been what many in the church world call “worldly.”  Last Wednesday, I revisited my teenage years and went to Atlanta to see Poison and Def Leppard . . . nostalgia at its finest.  I have to admit that it was pretty electrifying.  Then, I ditched my pastoral post to go play in a Scrabble tournament in Asheville.  Once again, it was pretty sweet because it was the first tournament that I placed first in my division.  Now that I sit here trying to type this WMD, I’m pretty sure the devil is doing me just like he did Peter back in the day.  The whispers are constant, “Think about where you’ve been and what you’ve done . . . you are unfit for service.”

At the same time, the word of God speaks to my heart this morning, “Adam do you love me more than these?”

What a question.

Here is the thing:  In all of the things I did that could be misconstrued as bad, God was all over me.  He never left me and never forsook me.  I got to hang out with one of my best friends in the world and talk about God for hours.  We spoke of how nice it was to like the concert and not love it like we used to.  We just hung out, caught up, and enjoyed each other’s company.  Three days later, I went to a different church that does church on Saturday night and got so blessed and refilled with God’s Spirit . . . it was amazing. The very next day, on the way to Asheville to play Scrabble, the Glory of God was all over the place.  I just felt Him like crazy.

I think God might have been calling a time out with me.  I think being a pastor for these past three years has kind of dehumanized me.  I have tried way too hard to put on this air of perfection.  I’m going to cut that out.  I don’t want to be simply a great rule follower.  I know a lot of them.  They seem so unhappy and absolutely nobody wants to be like them.  I pray that I never forget how much I need Jesus and how much He means to me.  It is so strange what He will use sometimes to remind me.

“Lord, you know all things; you know that I love you.”

*In my best John Fogerty voice*

Put me in coach . . . I’m ready to play.

Later

Adam

But without faith it is impossible to please God. – Hebrews 11:6

If there is one prayer that I might have used too much over the years, it is the prayer of protection. I like the words “hedge of protection” in the book of Job. Over the years, these words have made me feel safe and protected from the enemy. At the same time, I believe I have often misinterpreted these words to mean, “keep me comfortable and happy while not making me do anything too difficult.” In that sense, these words have kept me from stepping out in faith.

I think back to the beginning when God wanted me to leave the “popular” lifestyle of partying and hanging out with certain “friends.” I had no idea what was on the other side of all of that. Who would I hang out with? What would I do on the weekends? It was so much easier to just keep on “believing” in God and ask for forgiveness at the end of the day for the junk I did that I know He didn’t approve of.

Stepping out on faith was so costly in the short term. It was lonely. It was incredibly difficult and I thought constantly of quitting. I had no replacement friends for the ones I gave up. But, I did learn in that alone time in the wilderness how to be friends with God. I talked to Him. I read His word. I wrote songs for Him and played them for Him. He was all I felt like I had, so He became my best friend.

Before long, opportunities to publicly declare His word came about. Public speaking was my all time number one fear. My voice would literally and obviously shake if I had to do something as simple as read in front of a group of people. My heart would pound so hard that I wondered if it would come out of my chest. I would just tell Him, “Lord, I can’t do this. Please don’t make me do this.” I had a choice. I could stay protected in my little shell, or I could step out on faith. Fortunately, when I did, God allowed me to crawl before I walked. He allowed me to preach short, simple little devotions to small groups of people and “work my way up” to bigger crowds. Stepping out on faith pleased Him because He sure started to bless me with some wonderful revelations about His Word.

Then came quite a big test: “Will you pastor a church?” I didn’t lack for excuses, “Lord, I only have a handful of sermons. How can I come up with something every week? How will it affect my family? Are you sure you don’t want me to retire from teaching first? Can I answer later?” I had so many reasons to say no. But, this verse resonated with me. All of my questions were about my own abilities. The right question was this: Do I trust You, Lord, who I claim as my God, to supply all that need to do what You have called me to do?

I said, “yes.”

How could I please Him otherwise?

I so want to please Him.

Have you ever stepped out on faith and done something really difficult for Him? I’m talking about something that really takes you out of your comfort zone and everything in you just makes excuses like crazy. If you haven’t, do you really expect Him to say at the end of your life, “Well done, my good and faithful servant”?

Without faith, it is impossible to please God.

Later

Adam

Jesus said to them, “Unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink His blood, you have no life in you.”   — John 6:53

I have been attempting to be a preacher now for over 3 years. I have grown so much spiritually in this period of time. As I’ve grown, almost everything I have thought about church has turned upside down. When I was on the outside looking in, I thought a big part of church was having big crowds. I remember certain weeks being reserved for “bring a friend” or “pack a pew.” When I visited the churches with the really big crowds, it was electrifying. I loved it and that seemed to be what everyone should be aspiring to.

Now, before I go on, I do want to say that I don’t believe that there is absolutely anything wrong with any of those things I’ve mentioned.

However, now that I’m on the other side of the pulpit, I’m really questioning the “more people is better” model. Pastors certainly don’t lack for leadership conferences teaching about how to grow your particular church numerically. I even saw one where a famous pastor, for a sizable fee, will personally come and look at how you do things, and then give you steps to “maximize your growth potential.” Doesn’t sound like a bad thing at all . . . except . . .

Jesus was absolutely unconcerned with big crowds following Him. Every single time in the Bible that I read where big crowds started to follow Him, He said something to the tune of the verse I have chosen for this week. Read it again. Thirteen verses later (John 6:66) it says, “From that time, many of His disciples followed Him no more.”

They quit, and it appears that He made no effort to persuade them otherwise.

Why?

Maybe He wasn’t interested in people following Him simply for what He could do for them. Maybe He was more interested in people desiring His presence, not His presents. After all, when He said those words in John 6:53, He had just fed over 15,000 people on very little food. The people liked that trick and wanted Him to perform it again. When He told them that two-letter word nobody likes to hear, “no,” they simply said, “Forget this and forget Him.”

Surely we see that the American version of Christianity isn’t much different. Watch the numbers decrease in the church if an “inferior” pastor replaces the old one. Watch people never come back because you changed the style of music. Watch how many find someplace else if you do something as simple as change service times. If leaders want to keep crowds, they had better not be inconvenient.

Then again, maybe they should. At least then, just like Jesus, they would know who is there for the right reasons.

Later

Adam

Behold, to obey is better than to sacrifice, and to heed than the fat of rams.  – 1 Samuel 15:22 (NKJV)

In the context of this verse, King Saul had an assignment.  He was to utterly destroy the nation of the Amalekites.  He partially obeyed.  Anything or anyone he thought was valuable, he simply kept for himself.  When confronted by Samuel the prophet, he justified his actions by saying he only did it so he could make a big sacrifice to the Lord.  Samuel let him know really quickly something that many Christians need to learn today:  Partial obedience is disobedience.

Saul honestly thought that he could just kill a bunch of animals on the altar and God would approve.  He thought sin was something to arbitrarily be declared as pardoned and then you could just move on.  He didn’t realize there was a real cost involved.  Most American Christians, like Saul, don’t realize it either.

So many people who claim Christianity think the greatest sacrifice is simply going to church.  Others think it is to put money in the offering plate.  Many believe that God actually desires the sacrifice of their time and money.  They actually believe it makes Him “happy” and okay with us.  Therefore, we behave as we wish, then believe our sacrifices cancel out our disobedience.

Samuel’s words teach us otherwise.

Many Israelites lost respect for the sacrificial lambs and forgot their purpose.  The point was that a sinner could transfer his sin onto the lamb and be declared clean.  However, since the innocent lamb was now tainted with its owner’s sin, it had to be destroyed.  The wages of sin is death, and it still is.

Therefore, we don’t simply ask to be forgiven over and over and keep living as we wish.  When we sin we contemplate our actions.  When convicted, and when we repent, we place our sin upon Jesus, our Passover Lamb.  Hear Him cry out, “My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?”  Why is He saying such words?  He had never known sin.  He had never known what it was like to be separated from God the Father.  But He sure knows on the cross at this moment.  Why?  Because He has your sin and my sin placed upon Him.

Makes it a little more serious doesn’t it?  More than that, it makes me not want to sin.  I don’t want to hurt my Savior any more.  Why would I disobey Him knowing that if I want to be made right with Him, I must heap even more sin upon Him who I claim to love?  I pray it never be so.  For I have hurt Him enough with my foolishness and willful disobedience.

As we enter this Holy week, please don’t take it lightly.  God does not delight in church attendance and offerings.  I have learned that these two tools have been used to bless me more than anything else.  Shame on me that I have thought that my misery while “suffering” through a boring church service was His delight.  Shame on me that I have thought that He actually wanted my money. He is so good; He simply didn’t want money to have me.

He is the same yesterday, today, and forever.

He still desires obedience . . . not sacrifice.

I have learned that when I obey, even if it is insanely difficult and it is the last thing I want to do or feel like doing, the person who ends up blessed the most . . . is me.

Happy Easter

Adam