And behold, I am coming quickly, and My reward is with Me, to give to everyone according to his work. — Revelation 22:12
For two weeks in a row now, I have written WMDs that I don’t get to publish. I’m going to go ahead and lay it all out there . . . I am bitter in my heart towards some people, and it shows up in my writing. I am also in a fasted state right now. I know you aren’t supposed to talk about it, but I’m not doing it for attention. I don’t really care if I lose some reward for this fast, but I do care if this bitterness remains in my heart. As the verse up top says, He is coming back . . . I want to be ready!
Fasting is kind of like spiritual surgery. It opens up your spiritual heart, and whatever is in there that does not need to be there is just laid wide open for you to see and cut out. I know many times I don’t want to deal with my spiritual issues, or worse, many times I excuse them away. But here, right now, my soul feels split wide open and I’m allowing God to cut away as He sees fit. It’s not fun, it’s definitely not comfortable, but I know it is necessary.
Now, here is the best part: 100% of the time, when you’ve said that last prayer in a fasted state and have thanked Him for helping you and cutting on you, it’s like surgery is complete. You do have this healing period much like having stitches after surgery and needing to rest and all that. But, on the other side, you don’t struggle as much with whatever was cut out. It’s like it really was removed and you can move forward.
Here is another crazy thing: God is probably using me more right now than He ever has. It would be so easy for me to keep ministering with all this junk in my heart and think that God was okay with it. But I just finished reading the entire Bible from when I started back in October 2018. When I read that last chapter . . . time is so short. I am going to be standing before Him before I know it. I want that reward. I want my heart to be pure when I see Him face to face.
So, in 10 years of writing, I don’t think I’ve ever flat out asked for you guys to pray for me. I might have, but I’m not going to search through 500 WMDs to find out. Anyway, pray that God gets ALL this spiritual cancer out of my heart. Pray that I continue in this new decade to write only what He would have me write. Pray that one day at a time, God will continue to lead, guide, and direct me. Pray that I get to grab ahold of that reward. I want nothing more than for my work and my life to please Him. I want nothing more than to hear the words, “Well done, my good and faithful servant.”