And you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free. – John 8:32
A handful of times, there have been these incredible moments of clarity within my walk with The Lord. I am right now in the process of having another one. It’s like in an instant, I have become this brand-new creature. Old things have passed away and all things have really become new. It’s like I’m looking at the world for the first time. I just want to take the time to write down just how much God has moved in my heart and life. In the future, when my heart is in turmoil, I hope to stumble across this writing. I will remember that God has done it before, and He’ll do it again.
I started a 21-day fast on Christmas Day. I only had a few requests for God, the main one being that He had to take away this hurt that I’ve been feeling ever since leaving the church that I pastored. Just hours ago, I received my breakthrough . . . it was like it was just handed to me all of a sudden. I was able to spew out my venom to one of the church leaders that I respected and had probably grown to love the most. He was my main connection since the beginning of it all. He was and is the OG . . . to me anyway. He then unleashed his side of things. We texted back-and-forth for the rest of the day. I now totally believe that saying, “There are two sides to every story, and the truth is somewhere in the middle.” The biggest reward of all is that I now have my friend back.
I honestly don’t know how Jesus took what He took. He literally did nothing wrong His entire life; and was placed on a cross for it. He endured it. He just took it, and with no vengeful reactions. When I thought I had done no wrong, it absolutely consumed me. I could not take it. I was like James and John, the “sons of thunder,” calling down fire from heaven. Now that I see my part in all of it, I can take it. It’s like I don’t mind self-destructing, but nobody else better destroy me. What is that? My guess is that it is the pride and selfishness that still resides in my heart and mind.
At any rate, it’s over. Freedom feels absolutely amazing. Perfect peace and joy is back to resting in my spirit. I could not be more thankful. It’s like seeing a perfect, glorious sunrise on the horizon, looking back at the past one more time, and then starting a new journey towards this marvelous light . . . wherever it may lead.
For all the prayers last week, thank you! They worked.
Of course they did.
When ole Gabriel blows the trumpet
And we rise up in the air
In less time than a split second
I’ll be changed from here to there
Where there’ll be no grief or pain
Perfect peace and joy shall reign
Home at last I shall proclaim
Lord, here I am!